Mounting suggestion for a wooden round pole

[hills]

Ahh!! I need lessons then...

The other day in interpreted "JUST DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT - YOU'RE GOING TO ANYWAY!! "

as

"Yes dear "

Then again I've only been married for 24 years so there's still much to learn!

[Repairman77]

Brownie Points are earned for doing (or Fixing) domestic Appliances .............I have recently found that......

a. If something "appears" to be broke in "Female" eyes It is not necessarcelary "Broke" in the "REAL" world..... E.g. The freezer is full of Ice, this is because a "Female" has left the door open ...........1/2Hr of making loud Banging noises near said Freezer & the occasional " FFS" shouted out loud can earn up to 10,000 Brownie points, With little or NO WORK needed!!!!

b. Checking the Wifes car can also be very profitable....... "I'll check the Fluids for you, & take to the garage to top it up"....This actually means I'll go for a drive to get some Peace & Quiet & call at the local MacDonalds for a quick Feed.....Up to 100,000 Brownie points can be earned in this manner.

c. Commenting on the wifes Clothes can also earn points...............E.g " Oh! I think that dress/Jeans/Top looks a bit BIG on you, you must have lost weight"..............TRILLIONS of Points here!!!!!.........

I personally like to use the saying from that old Clint Eastwood Film..FIREFOX..... "You must THINK in Russian" .... but "adjusted" slightly for Brownie Points ...........like......."You must THINK in FEMALE"............

Bin Married fer 37 years now ....................& I'm STILL here ( & in one piece!!!)

Brilliant Hooded Claw.

Another thing to add to the list...

When the wife says they want to decorate a room that looks perfectly OK to us, wants new curtains, blinds, new furniture etc. instead of letting out the appropriate sigh of discontent just say 'good idea love, looks a bit shabby'.
They're going to do it anyway so you'd better give in and save all the hassle.
All those things are on the agenda here.

Seems to be reluctant to buy a new electric kettle though, which is now leaking, as we haven't had it that long.
Cost of new kettle maybe £20, cost of all above £2-3K.

Been married nearly 43 years and learnt a few tricks along the way.

Mike.

[The hooded Claw]

Ahh!! I need lessons then...

The other day in interpreted "JUST DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT - YOU'RE GOING TO ANYWAY!! "

as

"Yes dear "

Then again I've only been married for 24 years so there's still much to learn!

Phil, yer missing something mate when "Doing what YOU want to do" E.g. Tinkering with your weather station or adjusting data on the PC you MUST make it LOOK LIKE your doing something FOR HER..........Like this..........

A. Wife.." Your PLAYING with that weather thing AGAIN".....

YOU...."I'll just come down & explain, I was adjusting the position because I thought you would like to know when it's likley to rain/be hot/blow a gale ect so YOU'D KNOW WHEN TO HANG OUT THE WASHING TO DRY"


B. WIFE "your always under that bloody car"

YOU "yes I know I was making sure it would be OK for you to go Shopping in it...you don't wanna break down now do you??"


C. WIFE "Your watching damn football again, I never get to watch what I want"

YOU " The Telly has been playing up latley, it switches itself off after an hour or so, I think I've fixed it now but I'm just testing it, I didn't want you to miss the film you wanted to watch tonight"


D. WIFE "Your NOT going to the Pub again are you"

YOU I'm only meeting up with Fred/John/Harry ect he's got a part for the Washer/Fridge/Telly ect You don't want that to break down now do you? it's called "preventative Maintenence"


ALL THESE THINGS WILL COME TO YOU IN TIME PHIL ................You've only been at it 24 years ..................LOADS OF TIME YET!!!!

Another good pointer is to ALWAYS answer a question with "YES" Do NOT EVER say "NO" E.G ( As Mike stated above) WIFE "I think this room wants Decorating" YOU..... " YES I AGGREE" ..... ( you are then on HER side ... Saying NO will only cause her to mention it 77 million times a day ) until you DO aggree.............

The art of having a peacful life is to give the wife what SHE THINKS she wants .............but only in very small doses

Keith

[Gina]

[hills]

How did I miss your reply Keith, that's gold!!

Here let me try:

Her: You have 14 watches, why do you need another one??

Me: This one has an alarm, I just want to make sure I wake you up in time so you have plenty of time to make my breakfast without being rushed.

Hmmm, perhaps I need to work on that... any ideas?

[malc-c]

Bin Married fer 37 years now ....................& I'm STILL here ( & in one piece!!!)

Not if she now reads this thread

Must admit this would a good book....

Years ago my mate purchased a new RC helicopter with all the upgrades fitted, costing well over a £1000... concerned about what part of his anatomy she might cut off if she ever found out he showed her the bog standard kit (just the airframe, no electrics etc) in the window of his local model shop costing £130 - "wow, if I had know it only cost that much, you could of had that transmitter you wanted too... do you want to get it now whilst we're here" she commented !

[Gina]

You've got to be very careful when you tell lies! AND have an exceptionally good memory! And don't think we women don't know what tricks you men get up to!